Agares Archibald [Done!]

Name: Agares Archibald
Age / Apparent Age: 18/18
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Allegiance: Traveler
Title: N/A
Height & Weight: 6'0"/182.88 cm & 155 lbs/70.31 kg
Hair and Eyes: Red, messy and just past the ears. He has a single braid going down the right side of his hair, draping at his shoulder. His eyes are bright orange.



Physical Description: Standing at six feet tall and weighing in at 155 lbs, Agares possesses a fairly lanky build from life as a peasant, with lean muscle and many cuts and bruises lining his body as a result. In particular he has one deep scar going horizontally across his abdomen from one side directly to the other. With burning eyes and equally fiery hair, he gives off an air of aggressiveness with his natural appearance, of which a frown or smirk can often be seen donning his face.

Generally, he can be seen wearing garb fit for adventuring around. Not so much about elegance as it is practicality, he wears clothing that he wouldn't care too much about getting rugged or dirty. Outfits that don't hinder his movement are preferred; yet even so, he likes to drape a black and red cloak over the left side of his body with any combination of clothes he has on at any point, which stretches down to his waist.

On his left wrist he wears a dark brown wristband, and on both hands he wears black gloves with red circuit patterns lined up with each respective finger on the glove. They don't appear to do anything from what Agares has noticed, and are merely something he found one day.

Agares Archibald:

Personality: To everyone except for humans, Agares is often standoffish and aloof. He has a trait, arguably combined between a desire to be honest and a burning hatred for the cruel "superior races" he was often forced to play along for, that he has a habit of rebelling against said races if their requests are unreasonable. It goes without saying that this gets him in huge trouble at times, receiving harsh beatings and days upon days without food to "atone" for his sins against his masters.

Around humans he is surprisingly protective most of the time, interfering in the business of other humans if they're being picked on and usually ignoring non-humans when they appear to be in trouble. He believes that humans should stick together at all times, looking out for one another. Yet even among humans he can't respect those that have grown too accustomed to their positions among the common servants and peasantry, or those who are comfortable and content with lives of slavery. It's those people that he puts on a similar level of kindness to the "superior races". Incredibly prideful, he will step in to defend another human even if means he might die.

As mentioned earlier, Agares is an honest person. Rarely will he ever lie, and even less likely is to commit crimes and steal from others. He speaks his mind even if what he's saying is undesirable, which can cause those around him to react unfavorably in turn. When he speaks he often has a habit of shortening his words and using slang terms to keep it short and sweet.

While he is hot-headed, he isn't the kind of person to usually go on a rampage. His anger is typically a quiet, cold rage. A death glare combined with a resolve to let his fists do the talking instead of his words. In these scenarios he often sees nothing but the target of his anger in tunnel vision.

Positive Qualities:

- Fast Learner: If he needs to learn something, he can learn it quickly and effectively.
- Honor: He is honor-bound and proves to be unwilling to fight dirty. Has a steady resolve as a result.
- Spirited: He has an unbreakable will that rivals the strongest of magics, fueled by hatred towards humanity's weakness.

Negative Qualities:

- Prideful: Agares is insanely prideful, to the point where he refuses to bow to even the strongest of people.
- Temper: He can become easily angered if someone speaks to him in a condescending way or tries to harm him.
- Overly Honest: His honesty is often his downfall, resulting in him speaking his truly honest opinion at almost all times.

Likes:

- Meat: Agares is a proud carnivore, sampling all of the finest carnivorous cuisines the world has to offer.
- Conflict: Something about fighting others in some way gets his humanly blood boiling.
- Feeling Warm: Having grown accustomed to cold, the feeling of warmth to him is intoxicating when he gets the privilege.

Dislikes:

- Non-Humans: Specifically the ones with superiority complexes. After years of slavery, he isn't happy to serve them at all.
- Coldness: He hates the cold and constantly bundles up to try to ward off its effects.
- Insects: All of the various insects of the world that spread diseases, poisons, and generally inconvenience aren't welcome around Agares.


Legacy

Timeline:

- Born.
- 1 - 2 years with unknown mother and father.
- Sold off to slavery at 3.
- Raised until deemed fit to work at age 6 in Hephaesti.
- Obeyed all orders meekly for 4 years.
- Age 11, began to grow cold to those around him. Started to lash out at various lords and masters.
- Age 13, punched a lord's son in the face for threatening him.
- Shortly after, began his self-taught martial arts training.
- Age 14 - 16, passed around from person to person constantly.
- Age 17, considered useless as a slave and a failure as a human by those around him.
- Current time, auctioned off as a slave to the highest bidder in Hephaesti.

History: Growing up in the slums of a small town in Ferrontus, he was taken from a very young age from his birth parents, handed over to slavers. With no real memory of his parents or the town he came from, he was put to work by the races that took higher priority over him. Initially a meek child, he began to harden himself to the ways of life in Ferrontus. One time when the son of one of his former masters threatened to devour young Agares, the slave boy returned in kind by punching the lord's son out of a mixture of fear and frustration. It was this point that began to change his life, following the intense beating and subsequent release he received for such an act. It almost cost him his life, and forced him to change not only his personality but also his lifestyle.

Passed around from person to person, he began to learn the basics of martial arts and swordplay in any way he could in his free time. Whether it be observing and analyzing fights whenever he had the time, or learning in secret with books on the art of warfare. Whatever he could get his hands on, he would take it in to create a self-taught style to the best of his ability. After a while he grew confident enough that at the very least, when he was passed on to a less powerful or influential master, he would resist and push them as far as he could. There were occasions where he would get into fights with servants or lords if it escalated to that. He would fight them not to the point of defeating them, but to the point of tiring or annoying them enough to release him from their custody rather than eat or kill him.

He became known for lashing out at his superiors and his price gradually decreased over time to the point where even the most dirt poor citizens could purchase him, getting rid of him at a later date when it was convenient. Every time he would defend himself when attacked, sometimes succeeding in an escape occasionally - though it was always short-lived, as he would get caught eventually and be sent back to auctions and markets for sale.

He became well known among slave markets as an undesirable rebel. Treated as a useless tool, he was passed around from person to person consistently, and told to do vile and despicable deeds for their pleasure; when he refused, it was the same routine. Beat, humiliate, release, but Agares would still persevere through it and avoid his demise one way or another. It was a constant pattern in Agares' life that lead to his inevitable anger issues and savage attitude towards non-humans.

For a number of years this treatment continued, up until now. He has recently been put up for auction once again, now in the capital of Hephaesti. A changed person from earlier in life, Agares continues to face the world with hateful eyes.

Rp Sample: N/A

Total Coin: 0/200

Stats
Strength: 8
Endurance: 4
Arcane: 2
Resistance: 2
Speed: 4

Skills

-~Martial Arts~(Basic)
-~Weaponry~(Basic)
-~Insert skill~(Skills level)
-~Insert skill~(Skills level)
-~Insert skill~(Skills level)

[Reserved]

Hello! I'm Kit, and I'll be grading your app tonight! Note, I'm not trying to be 'mean' or a hard-ass on anything here, I'm just trying to pull it up to standards. I have no personal or even non personal problems with you at all. I'm working purely with what I see in front of me.

Agares Archibald wrote:Name: Agares Archibald
Age / Apparent Age: 18/18
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Allegiance: Traveler
Title: N/A
Height & Weight: 6'0"/182.88 cm & 155 lbs/70.31 kg
Hair and Eyes: Red, messy and just past the ears; has one braid going down his right side to his shoulder. Eyes are bright orange. Please use complete sentences here.



Physical Description: Standing at six feet tall and weighing in at 155 lbs, Agares possesses a fairly lanky build from life as a peasant. With burning eyes and equally fiery hair, he gives off an air of aggressiveness with his natural appearance, of which a frown or smirk can often be seen donning his face. He has lean muscle built up from years of manual labor, but nothing too spectacular and can often be overshadowed by his poor eating habits. His body contains many cuts and bruises from countless years working in fields and serving various lords, combined with mistreatment from other races with superiority complexes. You mentioned over 3 times here something along the lines of 'from a hard life' as a reason for his physique, which leads me to think that you needed filler words to meet the word count. It only needs to be stated once that you had a hard life, that as well as a persona and history give us a good definition that it wasn't easy.

He wears a white pinstriped dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. For pants he wears black slacks done up with a brown leather belt, and black leather boots on his feet. Covering the left side of his body down to the waist is a black cloak with a red velvet color on the inside. Even a peasant would have more than one set of clothing, especially since I've heard from your conversations that your owner IC is one that plans on treating you well. Not to mention from what I can generally discern they're in nice condition, as clothes worn every single day would not be. Try describing the general style of clothing he wears rather than one outfit.

On his left wrist he wears a dark brown wristband, and on both hands he wears black gloves with red circuit patterns lined up with each respective finger on the glove. They don't appear to do anything from what Agares has noticed, and are merely something he found one day. Just to make sure you know, those gloves cannot have powers in the future unless you want to buy them from the shop as a weapon.

Agares Archibald:

Who are you?

Personality: To everyone except for humans, Agares is often standoffish and aloof. He has a trait, arguably combined between a desire to be honest and a burning hatred for the cruel "superior races" he was often forced to play along for, that he has a habit of rebelling against said races if their requests are unreasonable. It goes without saying that this gets him in huge trouble at times, receiving harsh beatings and days upon days without food to "atone" for his sins against his masters.

Around humans he is surprisingly protective most of the time, interfering in the business of other humans if they're being picked on and usually ignoring non-humans when they appear to be in trouble. He believes that humans should stick together at all times, looking out for one another. Yet even among humans he can't respect those that have grown too accustomed to their positions among the common servants and peasantry, or those who are comfortable and content with lives of slavery. It's those people that he puts on a similar level of kindness to the "superior races". Incredibly prideful, he will step in to defend another human even if means he might die.

As mentioned earlier, Agares is an honest person. Rarely will he ever lie, and even less likely is to commit crimes and steal from others. He speaks his mind even if what he's saying is undesirable, which can cause those around him to react unfavorably in turn. When he speaks he often has a habit of shortening his words and using slang terms to keep it short and sweet.

While he is hot-headed, he isn't the kind of person to usually go on a rampage. His anger is typically a quiet, cold rage. A death glare combined with a resolve to let his fists do the talking instead of his words. In these scenarios he often sees nothing but the target of his anger in tunnel vision.

Positive Qualities:

- Fast Learner: If he needs to learn something, he can learn it quickly and effectively.
- Honor: He is honor-bound and proves to be unwilling to fight dirty. Has a steady resolve as a result.
- Spirited: He has an unbreakable will that rivals the strongest of magics, fueled by hatred towards humanity's weakness.

Negative Qualities:

- Prideful: Agares is insanely prideful, to the point where he refuses to bow to even the strongest of people.
- Temper: He can become easily angered if someone speaks to him in a condescending way or tries to harm him.
- Overly Honest: His honesty is often his downfall, resulting in him speaking his truly honest opinion at almost all times.

Likes:

- Meat: Agares is a proud carnivore, sampling all of the finest carnivorous cuisines the world has to offer.
- Conflict: Something about fighting others in some way gets his humanly blood boiling.
- Feeling Warm: Having grown accustomed to cold, the feeling of warmth to him is intoxicating when he gets the privilege.

Dislikes:

- Non-Humans: Specifically the ones with superiority complexes. After years of slavery, he isn't happy to serve them at all.
- Coldness: He hates the cold and constantly bundles up to try to ward off its effects.
- Insects: All of the various insects of the world that spread diseases, poisons, and generally inconvenience aren't welcome around Agares.


Legacy

Timeline:

- Born.
- 1 - 2 years with unknown mother and father.
- Sold off to slavery at 3.
- Raised until deemed fit to work at age 6 in Hephaesti.
- Obeyed all orders meekly for 4 years.
- Age 11, began to grow cold to those around him. Started to lash out at various lords and masters.
- Age 13, punched a lord's son in the face for threatening him.
- Age 14 - 16, passed around from person to person constantly.
- Age 17, considered useless as a slave and a failure as a human by those around him.
- Current time, auctioned off as a slave to the highest bidder in Hephaesti.

History: Growing up in the slums of a small town in Ferrontus, he was taken from a very young age from his birth parents, handed over to slavers. With no real memory of his parents or the town he came from, he was put to work by the races that took higher priority over him. Initially a meek child, he began to harden himself to the ways of life in Ferrontus. One time when the son of one of his former masters threatened to devour young Agares, the slave boy returned in kind by punching the lord's son out of a mixture of fear and frustration. It was this point that began to change his life, following the intense beating and subsequent release he received for such an act.

Passed around from person to person, he became known for lashing out at his superiors and his price gradually decreased over time to the point where even the most dirt poor citizens could purchase him, getting rid of him at a later date when it was convenient.

He became well known among slave markets as an undesirable rebel. Treated as a useless tool, he was passed around from person to person consistently, and told to do vile and despicable deeds for their pleasure; when he refused, it was the same routine. Beat, humiliate, release. It was a constant pattern in Agares' life that lead to his inevitable anger issues and savage attitude towards non-humans.

For a number of years this treatment continued, up until now. He has recently been put up for auction once again, now in the capital of Hephaesti. A changed person from earlier in life, Agares continues to face the world with hateful eyes. Same question as I asked in the CBox, it seems like with this behavior and lifestyle he'd've been killed by now.

Rp Sample: N/A

Edited.

Hii! Now, from what I can see, the edits are excellent. Just a bit more and you'll be done:

* Your appearance needs a bit more to reach the word count required. Right now it's hovering in the 190s, it needs to be 200 or more. If you're having problems on what to talk about, try the way he moves/behaves, physically. That can include the expressiveness of his body. You could also try the placing of some of those scars, as well, if you'd rather not work with the former.

As for the history, I still think it's a bit iffy on how he's living, but miracles happen, and you did describe, so I'll let it pass.

Edited once more.